We have all been children! But for each of us, even siblings within the same family group, there will be a different experience of our childhood years. Your “inner child” is not simply a part of you that never grew up, like some kind of Peter Pan character, but it is that part of your subconscious mind which holds the imprint of events and emotions you experienced and may continue to affect you into adult life.
Beginning To Heal the Inner Child Within
As we become adults, we might be able to take a different view of the moments that hurt us as children, even gaining an understanding of the challenges our parents faced which might have caused them to act in a way that hurt us, although they never intended to. But if that doesn’t happen then we may find ourselves dealing with unresolved issues that go back to our early life.
Tracing and recognising our responses in adulthood to childhood traumas can enable us to deal with them and potentially lessen their impact on us. For example, if there is something that makes you suddenly, instantly, angry, fearful or upset you may well be able to trace that back to negative events from your childhood. Let’s imagine for a moment that your mother never really listened to you with her full attention, perhaps fobbing you off with, “I’m too busy”. As an adult, you might then find yourself experiencing a seemingly disproportionate sense of rejection when your partner is too busy to pay attention. That rejection is actually the inner child bringing through the hurt it feels from relatable experiences many years before.
Change & Manage Automatic Responses
The good news is that you can change, or manage, these automatic responses. When you are able to identify the origin of the pain, take some time to reassure your inner child that they are safe, they are heard and that they are indeed loved. It can be helpful to write a letter to your inner child, writing all the things that you wish you had heard as a child in an expression of kindness and compassion. Offer all the support that you actually needed but didn’t receive, and really come at this with kindness, above all else.
Treating yourself with kindness rather than judging yourself too harshly will improve your relationship with yourself and has the ability to ease depression and anxiety by re-directing the inner voice from being your worst critic to becoming a voice of healing and compassionate words.
“I am Enough”… “I Matter”…
You can also improve your self-image with daily affirmations such as, “I am enough”, “I matter”, “I have all that I need for today”. These help to override that little nagging doubt in your mind which is the hurt little child of your youth. Repeating them daily in front of the mirror allows you to develop a more loving and honest relationship with yourself. It might feel a little bit odd at first to talk to your reflection in a mirror, but soon it becomes a valuable reminder that you are indeed worthy of giving yourself time and attention.
And finally, give yourself a hug.
A Butterfly Hug!
The Butterfly Hug is a self-soothing method designed to alleviate anxiety, panic and distress. Using a rhythmic tapping on your body, you create a sense of comfort, grounding and security.
- Place Your Hands: Crossing your arms over your chest, hug yourself. Let your hands rest on your upper arms.
- Tap or Pat: Gently tap or pat your right hand against your left arm, then your left hand against your right arm. These movements should feel soothing and rhythmic.
- Breathe Mindfully: As you tap or pat, take slow and deep breaths. Breathing IN through your nose for a count of four, holding the breath for a count of four, and breathing OUT through your mouth for a count of four.
- Comfort: As you continue with rhythmic tapping and breathing, feel it as a gently reassuring hug.
- Be Present in this Moment: If your mind begins to wander, gently guide your focus back to the tapping, and the quiet rhythm of your breath.
By mimicking the sensations of a hug, we can trigger our brain into producing soothing neurochemicals that make us feel safe and alleviate any distressing, anxious thoughts.
Remember, self-care is never selfish. By looking after yourself and showing yourself all the consideration and kindness you deserve, you can be in a better position to positively influence every aspect of your life.
For personalised guidance, consider a psychic reading with Psychic Light, where our readers can support you in exploring your inner child, gain clarity, and receive support tailored to your personal journey.
Posted: 31/10/2025
Related Category: Holistic Wellbeing
